Cerebrate Good Times

We all tend to hold our personal beliefs close, and we defend them fiercely in the face of detractors. We know that, however ridiculous they might seem on the surface, they play an important part in making us who we are. These intensely personal views give us strength of character and form the basis by which we make our decisions. I am, of course, referring to cold remedies/prevention. Seriously, people really have deeply held beliefs about how to avoid or treat a cold, and they will preach their cure as devoutly as any missionary. My problem with these cures is that it's not possible for me to know how things would have gone without their echinacea and zinc cookies; it would take a large controlled study to evaluate their effectiveness. Over the years I have tried zinc lozenges, nasal rinses, vitamins, and herbal supplements. And I'm not saying they don't work. What I am saying is that I'm lazy, and I'm going to get better eventually regardless.

/frus•trashun'/ n The feeling experienced when a four-hour car trip is extended by an hour due to a traffic jam on the freeway, and the cause of the delay remains unknown.

One interesting thing about my line of work is that I sometimes get something from myself in the mail. Yesterday, for example, I received a membership packet for our company's organization, with a membership certificate that I had made. I guess I still felt a little bit special.

Yesterday I had Katie show this to Sam (thanks, Rob ): This was his reaction: "It was so funny it makes my whole body laugh, even my lungs, even my heart, even my stomach, even my skull, even my bones and brain and muscles." Then he added gallbladder to the list as well.

For some reason, it's socially acceptable for a woman to comment on another woman's appearance: Wife: That woman is so beautiful. Her skin is so nice, and she has great legs. Husband: (Knows that if he agrees he's in trouble for looking at another woman, but if he disagrees he's accused of starting a fight, so he feigns a sprained ankle.) But if a man does the same thing (talking about another man, I mean—talking about another woman is beyond the pale) serious doubts are raised concerning his masculinity : Husband: That guy is handsome. He's got a nice square jaw and broad shoulders. Wife:Um, honey? Would you like to go watch a football game or boxing match or something, you know, manly?

I was going to post a picture of this awesome blood blister I got on my foot while running today, but at the last second I chickened out.

Shameful confession: Today I have had the song "A Whole New World" from Aladdin stuck in my head.

• Buy someone a pet milk snake, then later secretly switch it out with a coral snake. • Feed them ostensibly fat-free food over (that is actually full of fat) over the course of decades. • Secure for them a high-paying job as an executive. Later, drive the company to financial ruin, then give them a tour of the roof. • Periodically rub poison oak on their clothes. Over the course of multiple exposures, sensitivity increases. Eventually, they might become sensitive enough to die. • Lace the edges of every book in their house with poison. Eventually they'll probably get a paper cut.

On Saturday I participated in the Rex Lee run in Provo. This was the first race I had participated in that distributed timing chips to the runners. The point of the chip is that it just tells the amount of time between the start and finish line, so if there's a big crowd waiting at the beginning you aren't sabotaged by being back in the crowd. The point is that the organizers of the race were obviously concerned enough with accuracy to distribute the chips. But that attention to detail was somewhat lacking in a more fundamental aspect of the race. I was running the 10k, which, the last time I checked, equals 6.2 miles. The course, however, was a good 2/3 of a mile short. I can understand if it's a little bit off, but the better part of a mile? Is this a product of the same conspiracy that keeps making clothing with labels showing a smaller size than it really is, to make us feel better about ourselves?

Thank you all for participating in the name poll, even though little good was accomplished because there was no clear winner. But hey, it's not like we were bound to abide by the results anyway. In other news, the official due date is around the 26th of April, but we did the math ourselves and came up with a much earlier date, and at her last appointment Katie measured a week ahead of where they expected. So there's a new element of excitement to this now, since basically the whole month of April is a distinct possibility. Looks like we're in for a surprise, at any rate.

Why is it that we enjoy round numbers? I imagine there is something in our brains that prefers things to be orderly (even if our bodies never comply by picking up our dirty socks). Case in point: On Saturday I ran a full ten miles for the first time. For some reason that is much more significant to my brain than my previous best, which was 9.5 miles. And since a mile is just an arbitrary distance anyway, it's pretty irrational. But irrationality kind of seems to define us anyway.

For those of you who watch The Office, yesterday they aired the episode in which Pam had her baby. I missed it, so I went to NBC's website to catch up. And the episode was sponsored by... birth control. Awesome.

I posted a poll with the final 4 baby names we are considering. I apologize for the black text on brown background; it's a widget and I have no idea how to change that. P. S. For those of you seeing this on Facebook, the poll is on my blog .

Last night I dreamed Hitler was chasing me around in the branches of trees. Apparently I am afraid that we are somehow related.