Cerebrate Good Times

Are you ready to laugh? At me, I mean. Last year I got our sprinklers all in, except for our little flower bed in the front. I had stubbed it with a pipe so all I needed to add was a drip line for the plants. Then this spring I decided that I needed an extra part to make it work (a pressure reducer, if you care, so all that pressure going through one tiny area wouldn’t blow out the pipe). So I went and got the parts, which required several fittings to make the right pipes connect. Then on Saturday I had to dig a short distance from the flower bed from the main line and add the fittings there. I hooked everything back up, turned on the water, and… nothing happened. I realized that I had left the valve closed at the main box. I went back to open it and discovered that I had put the pressure reducer on that end of the line last year. So I wasted the money on the parts, I wasted the time on the digging, and then the drip line didn’t seem to be working anyway. I called my dad, and he sugges...

This afternoon I went out to a certain section of the trail I run on, carrying a pair of snips. With these I cut the piece of barbed wire that caused this yesterday: The end

8:30: Allison goes to sleep. 9:15: Allison wakes up. 9:30: Sam goes to sleep. 10:00: I go to sleep. Katie stays up to get Allison down again. 11:00: I wake up to Allison’s crying and, feeling guilty, go to help Katie get her back to bed. 11:45: Allison is asleep again, and Katie and I go to bed. 11:50 to 12:30: The neighbors’ dogs whine and bark. (The neighbors have been gone for 5 days, and the dogs are unhappy to be left out in the cold, because they normally sleep inside.) 12:30: Unable to sleep, I go over to the neighbors’ house to complain. They have just gotten back and were about to bring the dogs in anyway. 12:45 to 1:??: Feeling stupid because I complained just before the problem would have been solved anyway, I am unable to sleep. 2:55: Allison wakes up and won’t go back to sleep in her room. I hold her for a while to get her sleepy again and take her in to sleep in our bed with Katie. 3:15 to 6:20: I sleep on the floor in Allison’s room. 6:20 to 6:50: I decide to set my alar...

Here's a conversation I had with my coworker Michael via email. Eventually I veered from the Middle East toward Africa, before finally getting tired of the puns (which I didn't think was possible). Joel : And Iran… Iran so far away… Michael : So, did you hear how most the middle east countries were named? It all happened when Stan came running up to a friend totally out of breath. The friend asks: “Why are you running?” and Stan answers: “I got in a fight!” The friend responds: “well, why are you running away?” in which Stan Responds: “He threw Iraq (a rock), so Iran (I ran)!” “Aren’t you going to get him back?” the friend asks. Out of breath Stan says: “Oh, it Kuwait. (can wait). Not much later, Stan realizes that the sharp rock had lodged into his leg. The type of rock is technically called af-gan…and so there was an af-gan in Stan. (Afganistan) Joel : That story makes me Saudi :( Michael : You are such a Turkey. Joel : Don’t blame me, it’s Jordan’s fault. Michael : I hate J...

I think it's a good idea to occasionally experience contrasts in life. For example, a miserable vacation taken for one week per year means that the other 51 weeks are that much better. And of course eating your vegetables makes dessert sweeter. I recently decided to try the beard thing again. And by that I mean I went a few days without shaving and decided to go with it for a while, for two reasons. First, it's nice to have a little extra face warmth during the coldest month of the year, especially when running. Also, it provides something to distract me a little bit from stupid cold, dark, boring January. A friend of mine said it makes me look 10 years older than I am, which I think is actually kind of funny. But that got me thinking that the best part will be when I shave it and look like I'm in my mid-20s again. Contrast. And a shout-out to Todd, whose first words to me upon seeing  me (on his wedding day, no less) were, "Does Katie still kiss you?"

Yesterday we were sitting in church, in sacrament meeting, during the passing of the sacrament (so the most quiet part of the meeting, which in our ward has more than 400 people attending), when someone’s phone began to ring. It went on for several seconds, and I started looking around to see why nobody was silencing it. It sure sounded close. Just to make sure I wasn’t responsible, I put my hand down and covered my pocket. The sound got quieter. I released my hand, and it got louder again. Mortified, I ran for the exit, all the while trying to push buttons while the phone was in my pocket, hoping it would stop. When I got outside, I saw that the music player itself had somehow started, selecting a random song. That explained why I didn’t recognize what was happening, because it isn’t a ringtone or notification on my phone. And it wasn’t even a song I’m overly familiar with. But there are many reasons why this should never have happened. 1. I have an app which automatically silences my...

Yesterday afternoon I had the opportunity to lie down for about half an hour, but as I prepared for my little nap I heard a strange scraping sound. A little investigation revealed that some branches from the neighbor's tree were scraping along the eaves of our house. I had to get up on the roof to be able to trim the branches. While I was up there I noticed just how overgrown their trees are. Some of the branches overhanging our roof will require a chainsaw to remove. So, combined with the additional plumbing problems we experienced a week ago courtesy of roots in the pipes (yes, plumbing problems again ), I think it may be time these trees have a little... accident.

On a whim, Katie and I decided to take the family up Mill Creek Canyon yesterday for a hike. Here's what I learned: Nobody who is coming down has any idea how much farther you have left to go. It's perpetually "half a mile." But the view is "totally worth it." When the sign at the beginning of the trail says it's a two-mile trail, that apparently means vertically. Carrying a 15-pound baby in a harness for 4 hours is kind of tiring. A child can complain for hours coming down the mountain about how much his feet hurt, and then when you get home he will still have enough energy to demand that you play with him. Next time we will look for a trail with an escalator. Those exist, right? Next time I'll remember to bring a real camera. This kind of looks like we were looking at a painting or something.

Look, I know you're sick of reading about the plumbing thing. But we've got to see this thing through! So, yeah. The plumbers thought they had things fixed. But once I got around to reconnecting everything under the sink, I discovered that it was a no-go situation. So they had to come back. Even with their rooter machine or whatever it is, it took them over an hour to work their way through our goofy pipes to clear things out. But I'm so happy that I no longer have to descend to the basement to brush my teeth.

The pros showed up. They hooked up a hose to the plumbing vent on the roof and flushed the clog out, without having to directly mess with any of the plumbing at all. It took about 15 minutes. And as soon as we get the pipes hooked back up in the bathroom, I'll be able to fully verify that claim.

In part 3 of our ongoing series What Lives in the Pipes, Jer and his dad came by last night to snake the drain. They worked for quite a while, and found a lot of sludgy goodness, but no cohesive clog manifested itself. We found out later that they did at least manage to make a difference, as now the other drain pipes in the house are backing up. So there could have been a clog that just got pushed farther down the line, past the point where other pipes intersect it. Or it possibly would have happened anyway. Or, alternatively, bits of food washing up your bathroom sink are actually a good thing. At any rate, professional plumbers are (allegedly) on their way as I type this.

You know that scene in Finding Nemo in which *spoiler alert* Marlin and Dory get swallowed by the pelican, and Marlin digs in to keep from being swallowed all the way? The clog in our bathroom seems to be doing the same thing. Jer came over last night and we attempted to blast through the clog by jamming a hose down the sink. Now our bathroom looks like an ancient river deposited silt, and maybe dinosaur bones, all around the room (if dinosaur bones are made from hair and mystery gunk). Next step: the snake

A couple weeks ago we noticed that our bathroom sink was not draining well. And, as is the way with such things, it eventually progressed to the point where some sort of action was necessary. So, being the extremely manly man that I am, I decided to see if I could fix it myself. I decided to start by looking under the sink. Check. My manly instinct as to where I might find the plumbing was dead on . Next comes... hmm. What is next? When gently tapping the pipes failed to immediately resolve the issue (note: fixing a plumbing problem is not like fixing a TV), I decided more drastic action was necessary. "I guess I could try taking a look at that funny-looking pipe under there," I thought. This was the P-trap, a likely place for clogs to congregate, or so I thought. But as soon as I touched the thing, I discovered something startling. Something was wrong. I performed a quick Google search and discovered that pipes, in fact, are usually supposed to connect to each other. In thi...

You're in Costco, and you buy a frozen yogurt. But you drop it on the way out. What do you do? a. Forget about it and leave b. Go buy another one c. Go to the counter and ask for a replacement In my case, I went to buy another one (because it was for Katie; otherwise I wouldn't have gone back). I was about to hand the cashier the money when some other customer walked up and told her I shouldn't have to pay for it because I just dropped the other one. I tried to pay anyway, because it wasn't their fault I dropped it. I viewed it as a matter of principle. But the cashier waved off payment, and I decided that it would just cause a scene if I argued too much. And yes, I cleaned up the one that dropped.