Cerebrate Good Times

I had been planning this big long post about how challenging this summer was, but then I thought a short poem might sum it up better. I was going to add another verse about how we all got sick, but I figure this is enough. This is also the reason I hadn't posted for so long: I wanted this post finished before writing anything else. Anyway, here it is. The Summer That Was Twas a Thursday in late June, A heat to make you choke And as the day wore on we found that our AC had broke. A simple fix we hoped for, And so we called the man "Can you come take a look tomorrow?" "Yes, we surely can." But sad news was delivered: Prepared for prolonged thirst Because the part you need will be sent August 21st. And so we mulled our options In triple-digit heat Deciding that, without a choice, this challenge we would meet. And so a few days later, The summer trials grew My company informed me "There's no longer work for you." We dug a litt...

These last few days in our house have been a fascinating experiment incorporating elements of psychology, physiology and biology. It all started last Thursday evening, when we realized that our house was 85 degrees despite the thermostat being set at 75. I called an AC repair company first thing Friday morning, and we were informed that it would take at least a week for the replacement part to arrive. In the meantime we’ve experience a slow descent into the depths of Hell, and I’ve become convinced that we are a part of some scientific experiment. The mornings are comparatively pleasant, in the low 80s in the house, climbing to the mid-90s in the late afternoon, and remaining scorching until after the sun sets. We’ve been spending time outside and going various places as much as possible, but we can’t completely avoid the house. So obviously we’re hot and sweaty (I’ve discovered that I can drink more water than I ever expected), and more irritable, and it’s hard to be motivated t...

Okay, so I have been trying to decide whether or not to post this. Normally I mock those who not only do something embarrassing but also actively tell others all about it, but since I recently became accustomed to embarrassment as a form of repentance, here we go. And I thought I’d reward those who still occasionally check my blog hoping (mostly in vain) for updates. Last night I went to Walmart. Calm down, that’s not the funny part. I got my groceries and headed out into the parking lot, congratulating myself for getting what I needed for the right amount of money. I tried to be patient getting out the door as a slow couple walked ahead of me. As soon as we were outside, I moved ahead of them and looked for my car. I parked in a different area than I usually did, so I was pleased to spot it right off. One of the few advantages of owning a car manufactured in the previous millennium is that it does stand out. So I walked to my car and put the key in the trunk to open it. But it would...

I have an intense dislike of negative news stories. I usually skim the headlines in the morning, so I’m not  wholly ignorant of what’s going on in the world, but I don't read articles discussing situations like infanticide. But most people seem to find them normal, valid conversation topics, and I imagine a smaller portion of that group is fascinated by the details (probably the same people who watch shows like Hoarders). This has just come up for me in the last few years, since I became a parent, so I imagine it has something to do with that. What I want to know is whether it’s unhealthy of me or not. I’m not trying to pretend these things don’t exist. I am certainly aware of the terrible things happening in the world, and our responsibility as individuals to make a difference where we can, but I see no value in discussing the specifics of X person doing Y thing to someone, especially when a child is suffering. It won’t make me a better person to hear it, and I doubt it will gi...

Last night I dreamed up another joke in my sleep, and it's a horrible one. Here we go: What do you call a willing cannibal who also fights to the death for entertainment? A gladiator (glad-I-ate-her). In my defense, it's possible I've heard this joke somewhere and didn't actually make it up. One of the few times I'd rather be guilty of plagiarism.

It lurked in the corner of the room, largely escaping notice. Well, if something taking up that much space could really escape notice. Nevertheless, it sat there watching. Patiently waiting for its chance to strike. The day began like any other. I sat in a chair for several hours, and went home. But then I had the chance to literally stretch my legs and run. The fates had conspired, however, and the wind outside was gusting up to 30 mph. Until a few weeks ago, there would have been no choice—I run outside, or not at all. But now there was the evil machine in the corner calling to me. “There’s no wind here,” it gently hissed. “Look, there’s even a place to put a tablet so you can watch TV and run at the same time…” And so, to my everlasting regret, I succumbed to the siren song. Then it began. To keep from disturbing the family beyond the noise the machine itself makes, I put in earphones, but with my arms moving my hands accidentally caught the cord and ripped them from my ea...

I’ve been thinking about all the wonderful causes that people around the world are supporting. There are so many that it can be difficult to keep track of the issues that demand public attention. And that’s why I’ve decided to declare today Awareness Awareness Day. This is a day when we can all come together to calendar out all our awareness days for the coming year, to maximize our awareness potential. Because if there’s one thing in our society that is suffering today, it’s our awareness of those causes that truly demand awareness.  So, to raise awareness of the need for awareness awareness, I’m asking everyone to change their social media profile pics to this: Together, we can make a difference when it comes to making a difference.

In theory, parents should be the most sympathetic people in the world. But, as Homer Simpson observed, in theory communism works. And it seems like there's a limit to our sympathy, just like there's a limit to how many cheeseburgers you can stuff in your mouth. And like a toenail in you burger can reduce the cheeseburger eating number to zero, certain stimuli can greatly reduce the amount of sympathy we are capable of. Are you still with me? I've found that one thing that reduces my sympathy to near zero is the way Sam cries when he gets hurt. Something about the pitch of his crying, combined with the fact that it happens so often and over such small injuries, makes it really hard for me to care. The problem is that I get desensitized by these little "stub your toe because you're running around when I told you not to anyway" injuries, so even when he's genuinely hurting I have a hard time really showing the concern that I really should. Case in point...

Empathy is a funny thing. And if by “funny” I mean “awful.” I like to think I can appreciate the misfortunes of others without having to experience them directly. No, really, Universe. I’m good. Well, okay. There are some situations I have been less than empathetic about because I don’t have personal perspective. Like whatever brain parasite causes people to wear skinny jeans. I will never empathize with that. Anyway, this post isn’t about those situations, but one I have actually now experienced firsthand. Generally speaking, I’ve been extremely fortunate throughout my life in terms of my health. I mean, I’ve experienced lesser issues like horrible acne, comical near-sightedness, braces, and that nasty bout with Crohn’s disease which has fortunately remained in check for the most part. But I didn’t inherit any kind of “fat” genes (skinny genes don’t demand skinny jeans), and I even still have a decent head of hair (knock on wood). I am used to going throughout my daily life ...

Last week we took a trip to California for the wedding of Katie’s brother. So on the morning of the 26 th we packed up and headed to southern Utah to spend the night with her family (including a bonus 250 miles driving in the snow), and then made the trip to San Diego the next day. We surprised the kids with a day at Disneyland (which was crowded beyond belief, but they still enjoyed it) and, despite a rainy reception, the wedding the next day was nice. Then we made the same trip in reverse, spending the night in Toquerville again, to arrive home exhausted on New Year’s Eve. But it was nice for the kids to see their new toys again, so it was kind of like a second Christmas. 2012 was… a year. I’m not quite sure what to say about it. Our lives remained largely unchanged. Sam started first grade, two of Katie’s siblings got married, and we just sort of went on with whatever it is we do. I did meet my resolution (and bucket-list item) of running a marathon, and I ran a total of 843 ...