Cerebrate Good Times

I'm pretty big on having the right tool for the right job whenever possible. And when cooking, one of the most essential tools is a spatula. But spatulas are almost always too thick, making them hard to slide under food, and the few that are thin enough are floppy and too weak to do the lifting required. We have one that is thin and strong, but it's metal and will scrape our non-stick pans. Is there no happy medium? Has anyone out there found the perfect spatula?

My Christmas adventure began at 3 p.m. on Christmas Eve. I was actually working that day, and my wife called to tell me there was water dripping from the ceiling in our pantry. So I hurried home and soon discovered that the leak was coming down from the attic. My first impression was that our roof was leaking, but our landlord came and checked it out (thank goodness he went up into the attic instead of me this time) and our next-door neighbor had left his swamp cooler hooked up. The water line running through the attic had frozen and burst, so the water was running down between the walls. The fact that he spends about 4 hours at home every month didn't help matters. But he left his garage unlocked, so we got the water shut off and started using a wet/dry vacuum to clean up the water. Our pantry has the original carpet put in 40 years ago, and had probably never been cleaned, so we were sucking up brown water. I tried to look at it as a good deep clean for the carpet. Our neighbor’...

I really don’t mind shopping, unlike most men. I like buying clothes for my wife, and I like shopping for myself. The one exception to this is buying pants. And the only reason for that is it’s impossible to find my size. I’m a slim guy, and all the pants I can find are at least 2 inches too big in the waist. I can’t decide if that’s because my size is popular and therefore sells out fast, or if it’s because obesity is the norm in today’s society (I prefer the latter theory, personally, because it’s funnier that way). Maybe I should start a “nice ’n average-sized” store or something.

This was an early gift I received, and I must say it is beyond awesome. I stuck it on my dashboard, and it yells a variety of derogatory remarks at other drivers (and pedestrians), thus enabling me to save my voice.

Last night I dreamed that our whole galaxy was going to be destroyed by a "steam galaxy." For some reason, this was terrifying in the dream. I had access to some alternate universe or something, and I had 40 hours to transport people there to save them. Before you ask, I'm sure my hordes of loyal blog readers were among those saved.

Am I the only one who dreams about things that are totally hilarious at the time but aren’t as funny when you wake up? Last night I dreamed that I was sitting in some sort of auditorium, and some annoying guy I knew from school was sitting a couple rows in front of me. So I turned to a friend sitting next to me and said something like, “I’ll give you $5 if you beat him up. I’d offer you more, but he’s annoying enough that you shouldn’t need the extra incentive.” Actually, I guess that’s still pretty funny.

I love those rare occasions where laziness pays off. After the last couple of snow storms, I never bothered to shovel the driveway. Even last night I thought “I need to shovel this” as I pulled into the driveway. Early this morning a front started moving in, with serious winds. It whipped the snow around so much that even if I had shoveled, the driveway would be covered again. So I don’t feel too bad for not wasting my energy.