Cerebrate Good Times

I had been planning this big long post about how challenging this summer was, but then I thought a short poem might sum it up better. I was going to add another verse about how we all got sick, but I figure this is enough. This is also the reason I hadn't posted for so long: I wanted this post finished before writing anything else. Anyway, here it is. The Summer That Was Twas a Thursday in late June, A heat to make you choke And as the day wore on we found that our AC had broke. A simple fix we hoped for, And so we called the man "Can you come take a look tomorrow?" "Yes, we surely can." But sad news was delivered: Prepared for prolonged thirst Because the part you need will be sent August 21st. And so we mulled our options In triple-digit heat Deciding that, without a choice, this challenge we would meet. And so a few days later, The summer trials grew My company informed me "There's no longer work for you." We dug a litt...

These last few days in our house have been a fascinating experiment incorporating elements of psychology, physiology and biology. It all started last Thursday evening, when we realized that our house was 85 degrees despite the thermostat being set at 75. I called an AC repair company first thing Friday morning, and we were informed that it would take at least a week for the replacement part to arrive. In the meantime we’ve experience a slow descent into the depths of Hell, and I’ve become convinced that we are a part of some scientific experiment. The mornings are comparatively pleasant, in the low 80s in the house, climbing to the mid-90s in the late afternoon, and remaining scorching until after the sun sets. We’ve been spending time outside and going various places as much as possible, but we can’t completely avoid the house. So obviously we’re hot and sweaty (I’ve discovered that I can drink more water than I ever expected), and more irritable, and it’s hard to be motivated t...

Okay, so I have been trying to decide whether or not to post this. Normally I mock those who not only do something embarrassing but also actively tell others all about it, but since I recently became accustomed to embarrassment as a form of repentance, here we go. And I thought I’d reward those who still occasionally check my blog hoping (mostly in vain) for updates. Last night I went to Walmart. Calm down, that’s not the funny part. I got my groceries and headed out into the parking lot, congratulating myself for getting what I needed for the right amount of money. I tried to be patient getting out the door as a slow couple walked ahead of me. As soon as we were outside, I moved ahead of them and looked for my car. I parked in a different area than I usually did, so I was pleased to spot it right off. One of the few advantages of owning a car manufactured in the previous millennium is that it does stand out. So I walked to my car and put the key in the trunk to open it. But it would...

I have an intense dislike of negative news stories. I usually skim the headlines in the morning, so I’m not  wholly ignorant of what’s going on in the world, but I don't read articles discussing situations like infanticide. But most people seem to find them normal, valid conversation topics, and I imagine a smaller portion of that group is fascinated by the details (probably the same people who watch shows like Hoarders). This has just come up for me in the last few years, since I became a parent, so I imagine it has something to do with that. What I want to know is whether it’s unhealthy of me or not. I’m not trying to pretend these things don’t exist. I am certainly aware of the terrible things happening in the world, and our responsibility as individuals to make a difference where we can, but I see no value in discussing the specifics of X person doing Y thing to someone, especially when a child is suffering. It won’t make me a better person to hear it, and I doubt it will gi...

Last night I dreamed up another joke in my sleep, and it's a horrible one. Here we go: What do you call a willing cannibal who also fights to the death for entertainment? A gladiator (glad-I-ate-her). In my defense, it's possible I've heard this joke somewhere and didn't actually make it up. One of the few times I'd rather be guilty of plagiarism.

It lurked in the corner of the room, largely escaping notice. Well, if something taking up that much space could really escape notice. Nevertheless, it sat there watching. Patiently waiting for its chance to strike. The day began like any other. I sat in a chair for several hours, and went home. But then I had the chance to literally stretch my legs and run. The fates had conspired, however, and the wind outside was gusting up to 30 mph. Until a few weeks ago, there would have been no choice—I run outside, or not at all. But now there was the evil machine in the corner calling to me. “There’s no wind here,” it gently hissed. “Look, there’s even a place to put a tablet so you can watch TV and run at the same time…” And so, to my everlasting regret, I succumbed to the siren song. Then it began. To keep from disturbing the family beyond the noise the machine itself makes, I put in earphones, but with my arms moving my hands accidentally caught the cord and ripped them from my ea...

I’ve been thinking about all the wonderful causes that people around the world are supporting. There are so many that it can be difficult to keep track of the issues that demand public attention. And that’s why I’ve decided to declare today Awareness Awareness Day. This is a day when we can all come together to calendar out all our awareness days for the coming year, to maximize our awareness potential. Because if there’s one thing in our society that is suffering today, it’s our awareness of those causes that truly demand awareness.  So, to raise awareness of the need for awareness awareness, I’m asking everyone to change their social media profile pics to this: Together, we can make a difference when it comes to making a difference.