Get Your Buzzer Ready
Where would society be without the magazine quiz? To honor this cherished tradition, I have cooked up the following quiz for you.
For those of you who need your existence to be validated by others, this will help you determine how manly your music is. Listen to a song typical of your taste and answer the following questions.
1. How many electric guitars are audible?
a. 1
b. 2 or more
c. What’s a guitar?
d. Do violins count?
2. What portion of the words can you understand?
a. 50% or less
b. There’s too much screaming for me to make out the words
c. All of them
d. Mozart didn’t write lyrics
3. How long is the hair of the lead singer? (If singer is female, score zero for quiz and go arrange some flowers.)
a. He’s bald
b. Shoulder length or longer
c. He looks like Chris O’Donnell
d. I don’t know; he’s been decomposing for 200 years.
4. When you turn up the music as loud as your stereo goes, what is your reaction?
a. Wow, this sounds better!
b. My neighbors called the police, and I can’t type in handcuffs.
c. The louder it is, the more embarrassed I am to be listening to Michael Bolton.
d. My neighbors showed up offering me his extra ticket for the symphony.
5. Which of the following most closely resembles the name of the lead singer?
a. Ed
b. Max Fightmaster
c. Prince
d. Hermengild von Rauchenmeier
Scoring:
Score 2 points for every A, 5 points for every B, slam you hand in the car door for every C, and half a point for every D.
Results
0 to 5 points: You are in dire need of some serious rocking out. Go pick up some AC/DC before you turn into Whitney Houston.
6 to 12 points: You have a glimmer of hope, but you should throw out all your Brian Adams CDs and check out some Aerosmith.
13 to 19 points: you know how to rock, but you try not to frighten small children. Let your hair grow an extra inch or two for maximum rockability.
20 to 25 points: You are probably a drummer for a band called Death to All Things Good and Wholesome in the World. Can I have your address so I can send you my demo tape?
For those of you who need your existence to be validated by others, this will help you determine how manly your music is. Listen to a song typical of your taste and answer the following questions.
1. How many electric guitars are audible?
a. 1
b. 2 or more
c. What’s a guitar?
d. Do violins count?
2. What portion of the words can you understand?
a. 50% or less
b. There’s too much screaming for me to make out the words
c. All of them
d. Mozart didn’t write lyrics
3. How long is the hair of the lead singer? (If singer is female, score zero for quiz and go arrange some flowers.)
a. He’s bald
b. Shoulder length or longer
c. He looks like Chris O’Donnell
d. I don’t know; he’s been decomposing for 200 years.
4. When you turn up the music as loud as your stereo goes, what is your reaction?
a. Wow, this sounds better!
b. My neighbors called the police, and I can’t type in handcuffs.
c. The louder it is, the more embarrassed I am to be listening to Michael Bolton.
d. My neighbors showed up offering me his extra ticket for the symphony.
5. Which of the following most closely resembles the name of the lead singer?
a. Ed
b. Max Fightmaster
c. Prince
d. Hermengild von Rauchenmeier
Scoring:
Score 2 points for every A, 5 points for every B, slam you hand in the car door for every C, and half a point for every D.
Results
0 to 5 points: You are in dire need of some serious rocking out. Go pick up some AC/DC before you turn into Whitney Houston.
6 to 12 points: You have a glimmer of hope, but you should throw out all your Brian Adams CDs and check out some Aerosmith.
13 to 19 points: you know how to rock, but you try not to frighten small children. Let your hair grow an extra inch or two for maximum rockability.
20 to 25 points: You are probably a drummer for a band called Death to All Things Good and Wholesome in the World. Can I have your address so I can send you my demo tape?
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