Reconnecting

In high school I had three best friends who meant everything to me. I was one of those teenagers who never wanted to be with my family, but spent every moment possible with this adopted family of mine. And because they were good people, it worked out well. I think we had a mostly positive influence on each other, and we made it through those awkward years largely by supporting each other.

Predictably, things changed after high school. Two of them went to school in southern Utah, I went to BYU in Provo, and one stayed in Salt Lake. Three of us served missions, and then came the rest of the details of life, with two of my friends settling outside the state (and then eventually me too). After I met Katie she struggled with me wanting to spend time with other friends anyway, and as kids came along I never really had time for a social life.

This summer is our 20th anniversary of high school graduation, and there is a Facebook page dedicated to the event. People were posting photos of themselves at graduation vs. now, and one of these friends posted his. We started talking, and he set up a Facebook group where the four of us have been reconnecting.

It's funny that Facebook has actually brought people together in an especially vitriolic time, but something about a blind squirrel finding a nut? So it's been great to hear what everyone has been up to for the last two decade. I had more or less resigned myself to having few close friends in my adulthood. I know plenty of people in the neighborhoods and wards we've lived in, especially the parents of my kids' friends, but I hadn't realized how much I missed having a real connection with others (aside from Katie, which is a deeper bond, but because you're generally in the middle of things together it's different from talking with people outside your own bubble of day-to-day happenings).

So, since some of them apparently read this blog on occasion but never reveal their presence (lurkers!) I'll just say that friends are good. I recommend them to anyone who has been considering acquiring one.

Comments

Bill said…
I had friends once. (Stop laughing! It's true! No, really, I mean it!)

Had you stuck around in Utah, I totally would have hung out with you. As a single person, however, I'm always hesitant to invite married people to hang out, 'cause I always feel like I'm intruding. (I even feel this way with my best friends in the world, who are married to each other.)
June 22, 2018 at 3:59 PM
)en said…
So great. I agree, it’s important to have people out of your sphere. Friends mean so much to me. And there is definitely something about reconnecting with the oldies. I recently did the same and I was so overwhelmed with feelings of affection combined with nostalgia, I just sort of stared at them with this creepily dreamy look on my face. Like, you’re part of my childhood and here we are, face to face again. It’s tender. Enjoy that reunion. I have mine soon. 😬
June 29, 2018 at 4:16 PM
Joel said…
Bill! I'm glad to see you're still kicking. I get what you mean; the whole dynamic changes when one friend is married and the other isn't.

Jen, I want to see a photo of your creepy/dreamy (creamy?) look.
August 14, 2018 at 1:15 PM
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