Electric Slide

In a Todd-like move, I’ve been thinking lately about alternative energy sources, especially when it comes to powering a car. There are a lot of technologies out there which could make cars more efficient and eventually eliminate our dependence on oil. But none of these technological advances is yet ready for mass production, except for hybrid cars and, to a lesser extent, ethanol. So let’s brainstorm a bit and think of some other ways to get your car from point A to point B.

We could go back to animal power, only instead of having a horse pull you along you could have a hamster running in a wheel, which would then generate electricity. Then your fuel cost is basically feeding the hamster. Of course, there are two downsides: first, the animal-rights people; and second, the hamster would probably have to run for six months straight in order to give you the power to drive out to your mailbox and back. (What? You don’t drive out to your mailbox and back?)

What if we figured out a way to benefit from the stupid people all around us? We could trick them into running in a giant hamster wheel in our house to charge a battery, and plug the car in and charge it that way. You could just give them video games to play while they run. The bonus is that they also wouldn’t go out and vote.

I suppose another option would be to just improve virtual reality technology to the point that you no longer need to go anywhere. If you could step into a holodeck-like room in your house that is linked to the outside world, and even interact with other people who were doing the same thing, wouldn’t that be the same as really being there? You could go to work the same way. Then there would b no need to create a more efficient car. Everything you need could be shipped to you through a series of tubes like they use at the bank.

I’m thinking that last idea is a winner, but I’m open to suggestions. Go on, solve the world’s energy crisis. I dare you.