The Race Against Time

There have been a few news articles recently about how running slows the aging process. The articles cite a study of runners conducted over a period of more than 20 years and talks about blah blah a healthier heart, yadda yadda lower death rate, and so on. They’ve reached the right conclusion, but for the wrong reason.

Remember our old friend Einstein? Ever heard of a little thing called the Theory of Relativity? That theory states that time slows at greater speed. So, logically, the more time you spend running, the slower time will pass for you, and therefore the slower you will age. End of story.

(Okay, so this is totally bogus. You have to be approaching the speed of light for this to work, and the earth, solar system, and galaxy are hurtling through the cosmos at great speed anyway. Not to mention the fact that we all spend much more time in cars than running, traveling at a much faster speed. But that still won’t stop someone in Hollywood from making an idiotic movie utilizing this idea.)

Comments

Unknown said…
Well, as long as they pay you for the right to use the idea who cares.
August 13, 2008 at 1:20 PM
)en said…
Joel, I'm your blog friend so I'm going to be honest with you:

This post is absolutely ridiculous.
August 13, 2008 at 1:51 PM
Joel said…
*Gasp* A smiley! I'm telling on you!
August 13, 2008 at 3:01 PM
Jer said…
*Shoots at Joel's head for coming up with another stupid movie idea, but Joel is saved by running, which speeds his blood flow, increasing the number of white cells and platelets to allow him to heal like Wolverine and basically become immortal*
August 14, 2008 at 1:59 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, you couldn't get white onions because of the war; all you could get...

Do you ever get stuck in a conversation that you can’t get out of? I’m not talking about those times when you have to be somewhere else or there’s a rational need to leave, but rather those times when, with every word the other person utters (it’s typically just a two-person conversation), your brain threatens to escape your body and make a break for it. All you can do is try to play some old TV theme songs in your head, or maybe design circuits if you’re the engineering type, all the while searching for an opportunity to escape. Now I’m boring myself just thinking about those situations.
Read more

Thirty Thoughts

1. Is that more hair in the shower drain every morning? 2. What's the big deal? It's just a number with a zero at the end. Why should we consider that significant? 3. Am I still allowed to wear shorts? 4. I need to buy a house within the next five years or we won't have it paid off by retirement age. Then again, my generation won't be able to retire until age 80, so I shouldn't worry. 5. I really should be eating more green, leafy vegetables. If I leave potatoes in the fridge long enough, will that count? 6. Going back to school is getting less and less likely. Then again, sending kids to school will be enough trauma. 7. At least I no longer look like I'm 12, which I did until I was about 23. 8. I will never wear my cell phone on my belt. 9. For some reason, there's a big difference between having a kid and having kid s . 10. You kids get off the lawn! 11. I wonder when my memory will start to go. 12. Inside of me beats the heart of an 18-year-old. At leas...
Read more

Moral Compass

On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being “afraid to step on a blade of grass” and 10 being “I’m gonna kill everyone!”), how bad is it if I were to warm up my car in the morning for 10 minutes before coming to work?
Read more