Skills I Want to Develop

I mentioned a long time ago that I like to learn a variety of things, even if I never stick with any one thing long enough to become a master. Seriously, who has 10,000 hours to devote to one skill when life has so much variety to experience?

Anyway, I'm okay with just learning the basics of a lot of things. Here's a running list of skills I want to develop.

  • Singing (I'm okay in a group, but it would be nice to really be able to sing well.)

  • Painting (Who doesn't want to make happy trees?)

  • Glass blowing (I have no idea why, but I think this would be awesome.)

  • Basic computer programming (I enjoyed learning some basic HTML in school and think it would be fun to know more.)

  • Flying (in a plane, not by flapping my arms or falling off a cliff)

  • Cutting hair (I have a secret desire to be able to cut my own)

  • Basic carpentry

I'm sure there are more, but this is what I could think of off the top of my head.

What about you?

Tasteless Joke #197

Okay, I know that "baby Hitler" jokes shouldn't be at all funny, but come on...

Blissful Ignorance

When I wake up during the night, I try not to look at the clock. If it's too close to the time I need to get up, I'll lie there anxious and never go back to sleep. Does anybody else do this?

Where There's No Smoke

I have a hate/hate relationship with smoke detectors. I know the lifesaving potential is worth any annoyance, but whoever designs these things is an evil genius. We have three smoke detectors within about 10 square feet of the house, and none anywhere else. So when one of them starts its "low battery" beep, it's very difficult to tell which one is beeping.

A few weeks ago one of them was beeping, and after I sat underneath each one of them long enough to identify the culprit, I removed the battery and checked it. The battery was practically brand new and very charged, so I have no idea why it was emitting periodic squeaks. So in the end I just unplugged it (since they are plugged into the house power too) and stuck it on the counter.

Today I noticed that the light on it was still flashing, and I decided to take the battery out, since it wasn't doing anything just sitting there. So now, being unplugged and having no battery in it, it started beeping again. What? Okay, maybe there's some inner battery as tertiary power. So I put the battery back in, thinking it was some warning that there was no battery. And it kept beeping.

I tried to open it, to see where any extra batteries may be hiding, but it doesn't look like I can do that without breaking it. So the smoke detector is now hidden away in our basement between some pillows, just beeping away every few seconds.

The end.


Over the last week or two I have noticed a number of trucks on the freeway with oddly shaped containers on them. As I get close I notice a sign on them warning of radioactivity, which makes my skin start to prickle in an unpleasant manner.

I am formally stating a law of nature that when you have multiple children and one of them starts to sleep better, another one will sleep worse. It's a fact.

Korean swear words translated into English are kind of cool. Eighteen! Puppy! Eat taffy!

Meaningless Milestone Achieved

I ran the Rex Lee Run again this year, this morning. I'm pleased to report that this year they fixed the problem with the distance, so it was actually a full 10k. All in all, it was a great run. The weather was perfect, the distance was correct, and for the first time I actually placed, earning second place in my age group. As silly as that is, it had been one of my running goals, and it felt good.

You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby

It’s been quite a while since I ruffled anyone’s feathers, at least on the blog, so let’s shake things up a little bit. Today I’m going to discuss baby photography.

What’s that you say? Baby photography isn’t a controversial subject? Nobody could possibly find fault with the immortalization of these adorable little bundles of joy? Well, it’s not baby photography per se, but a particular practice that drives me into a froth-mouthed rage.

What I’m talking about is the “naked newborn” pics. I can mentally hear you saying, “Aaaaawwww, they’re so adorable!” But I’m here to tell you, they are an evil that must be abolished! Reason 1: All human beings, no matter how young, have a right to basic dignity. A newborn has no defense against such ignominious treatment, which is why parents need to do what the child can’t.

Reason 2: Newborns are used to being in an environment that is at body temperature. It takes a while to get used to room temperature when you’ve been living in a sauna for nine months. Removing all their clothes makes them shiver. I don’t know about you, but seeing a newborn shivering cold does not make me feel good.

Reason 3: Predatory photographers at the hospital. These are the folks who swoop in, taking advantage of the beaming new parents to make a quick buck. And what do they invariably want to do? Remove the baby’s clothes to get the “naked newborn” photos. They don’t care that the child is cold; they just want to make money off of the miracle of life. And they’re harder to get rid of than bedbugs, and less polite. At least bedbugs wait until you’re asleep to bite you.

I’m sure most of you who are parents have had these photos taken, but I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you never thought of things from the baby’s point of view. One counterargument might be that the baby won’t remember it. Does that mean it’s okay to steal money from an Alzheimer’s patient?

Let’s stop treating living beings like art projects.

Let the objections begin. Seriously, people. I might have been bad about blogging lately, but you have been abysmal about commenting. Everyone who reads this needs to post an opinion of some sort, even if it’s just about your favorite color of M&M.

Put Your Behind in the Past

I'm more of a pragmatic person than a sentimental person, or so I prefer to think of myself. But yesterday I went over to BYU campus to pick something up, and I was surprised at how nostalgic I felt. I hadn't walked around campus in the five years since I graduated, and it was kind of like a punch in the stomach. With no fist anywhere to be seen, I was left with the conclusion that it was, in fact, nostalgia.

And why not? Many of the decisions that have led me to this point in my life were made there. There I met and married Katie (well, we weren't married on campus or anything, but I was in school). Sam was born 6 months before I graduated, and I chose my career there. I made some great friends and had a lot of fun.

What makes you nostalgic?

One Last Blast

Yesterday it rained all day, and it turned to snow just in time for my drive home. But i decided to out-stubborn mother nature and run anyway. By the end, I looked something like this:

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="My hair's a bit lighter, though"]Drowned rat[/caption]

The snow continued throughout the night, until our power went out at 12:30. It didn't come back on again until about 8:00 this morning. It was a bit of a chilly night.

Fine Print

We bought some Spider-Man bubble bath for Sam, thinking he'd enjoy it. And he does, until he gets out of the bath and develops a rash. And yet on the bottle it states, "Pediatrician and Dermatologist Tested." Still, I guess I can't be too mad. After all, it merely says "tested," not "approved."

Tuesday Confession

Sometimes when I take a drink, I notice my pinkie finger extending of its own volition. I swear I try to stop it.