In the Long Run

Have you ever accomplished something that you had wanted to for a long time, and it's so unbelievable that you can't really process it? Maybe you finally got rid of the Christmas tree from 1987, or maybe you counted the number of licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop. For me, running a marathon occupied a significant place on my bucket list. Specifically, under the "insanely pointless" heading. But isn't that the best kind of goal?

Also, like most pointless things it took far longer than it should have. I had shin splints, a stress fracture, and a bunch of other little injuries over the last five years. Not to mention my stupid brain. The psychological aspect of the running was arguably the hardest part, and a few times I psyched myself out too much. But on Saturday I finally did it. It was harder just doing it myself (it's always easier to run a race with other people), but it was my main resolution I set for this year so I wanted to do it even if I missed the actual registered races for the year. And I'm reasonably pleased with my time of 3:41. I would love to break 3:30 sometime, so we'll see if I have the guts to try for it again. Meanwhile, I'm that much closer to being prepared to die. Wait, what?

I Give Up

I was going to write a post about how it sucks to run in the dark winter evenings, and how I can choose between being murdered on the creepy dark parkway or hit by a car in our neighborhood. But then I realized I posted something similar last winter. I was set to link back to the other post, when I noticed a spam comment on there. I tried to delete it, but accidentally deleted a real comment from a human being, and I couldn't figure out how to get it back. And it was all downhill from there.

So instead, here's a picture of my cat sleeping on a stuffed gorilla. Enjoy!

The Cat's in the Bag

Last night I went out to the garage to feed the cat before bed, and I noticed the trunk of the car was open, probably because one of the kids was playing with the remote. So I closed it and fed the cat. Oddly, though, he didn't come greet me like he usually does. I knew he was in the garage, because I'd put him out there a little earlier. I looked all around, and started to wonder if I had just put him outside.

Then on a hunch, I opened the trunk, and a bolt of orange lightning flashed out. I'm glad I didn't leave him locked in there all night, to go on a ride to Sam's school in the morning. "Is the engine making a funny noise?"

The Pun War Goes Global

Michael was telling me to submit our last pun war to So Much Pun. And that led to Round 2. We started off with Africa, and then… things kind of went off the rails. Seriously, I LOVE puns, and some of these make absolutely no sense. But it was Friday afternoon. Consider yourself warned.

Michael: Kenya do it? Or do you not want to?

Michael: You Rwanda punch in the face huh?

Joel: Hey, we Congo outside any time you want.

Michael: You really want Togo?

Michael: Uganda lose!

Joel: What’s a Malia with you?

Michael: I’m gunna Steven Senegal your butt!

Joel: And you’re Ghana see what happens when I get Madagascar!

Joel: Oh, I've been meaning to ask you about your car. I was thinking of getting a Sudan like that.

Michael: You and Somalia friends can come at me and I’ll still beat you up!

Joel: In a fight I’m like a Tanzanian devil

Michael: And my car? Harry Potter showed up and used his stupid Rwanda and made it fly away.

Michael: Thats Libyating

Joel: Wow, Uganda go with that pun?

Michael: OH MAN, you Guinea get it!

Joel: I’ll tell Bill to grab his Cameroon, to take pictures of your black eyes.

Michael: Imma kick Djibouti and Bill’s Cameroon

Joel: Don't Gambia with your life like this. It’s not worth it.

Michael: I Congo through with it if I want. It’s my life.

Michael: I Benin the back all day just ready to strike.

Joel: You ain’t nothin but a little Chad when it comes to fighting.

Michael: There is Norway you know how good of a fighter I am

Michael: I’m gunna Russia so fast you won’t know what hit you

Joel: What kinda Angola you workin, changing continents like that?

Michael: Serbia right

Michael: Ukraine cry all you want

Joel: I've got some New Zealand I'm totally going to win!

Michael: Italy a long time before you ever win a fight

Joel: You're such a Laos for saying that.

Michael: I Andorra your spunk, but that was mean

Joel: That's what you get. Frankly, I’m starting to wonder if Uruguay. Oh, yes. I went there.

Michael: You Singapore song there, mate.

Michael: Here you are, all Sweden you go and say something like that

Joel: I wouldn’t want to Austriacize you, though.

Michael: You dishonor your Suriname

Joel: I'm sorry this has been such a Spainful conversation for you.

Michael: Tuvalu nothing anymore

Joel: There’s Norway you're going to win.

Michael: You want Tibet?

Michael: You and Bill are a Paraguays

Joel: That's Chile, man

Michael: Mon, golia home and just stay there

Michael: I'm sorry. I feel like I have been very Malaysias

Michael: We should be nice and get donuts, Lesotho's want to go with us too...then they can

Joel: Yemen, that’s a good idea

Joel: Something with a lot of Greece

Michael: Hmmm....all that talk is Jamaican me hungry

Michael: As long as we don’t get all Comoros after

Joel: Or Iceland cream

Michael: Or Aruba'n sandwich

Michael: I can Belize we have been talking like this for so long

Joel: If Italy the number of puns, I'm sure it would be huge.

Michael: You are a smart Guyana know how to count to!

Joel: You're too kind. Would you like a Tunisia sandwich?

Michael: I Guatemalow if you wanna make smores

Michael: We really have Guam off the edge with this whole conversation

Joel: I've got some ribbon over here. You should Taiwan in your hair. You'd look so pretty.

Michael: You are Guinea make me mad again

Michael: Iran from ribbon my whole life. Maybe I should try it

Michael: We could go get shakes or Malta's

Michael: We can take a Poland see what people want to do

Joel: On second thought, I'm not Hungary.

Michael: Syrias?

Michael: Ukraine tell me sooner next time.
Joel: Well, it’s really a money issue. I Singapore man’s song.

Joel: And don’t mention how bad that last pun was, or I’ll Estonia.

Michael: I will hit you with Iraq before you hit me

Joel: Denmark it off of my final score.

Michael: I will, and will play you a Qatar song as well

Joel: I didn't know you played, but I Bolivia

Michael: Peeru you stink

Joel: It’s too hot in my Cubacle