Seriously, This Time It's Fixed

Look, I know you're sick of reading about the plumbing thing. But we've got to see this thing through!

So, yeah. The plumbers thought they had things fixed. But once I got around to reconnecting everything under the sink, I discovered that it was a no-go situation. So they had to come back. Even with their rooter machine or whatever it is, it took them over an hour to work their way through our goofy pipes to clear things out. But I'm so happy that I no longer have to descend to the basement to brush my teeth.

I'm the King

... of leaving the oven on after I take the food out.

What are you the king or queen of?

Housekeeping Note

If you want to leave a comment here on the blog, you don't actually have to provide any identifying information, despite the asterisks by the fields. I still recommend you put your name in, so I know who is mocking me, but none of that is required.

Sunk

The pros showed up. They hooked up a hose to the plumbing vent on the roof and flushed the clog out, without having to directly mess with any of the plumbing at all. It took about 15 minutes. And as soon as we get the pipes hooked back up in the bathroom, I'll be able to fully verify that claim.

I Sink It's Time We Call a Professional

In part 3 of our ongoing series What Lives in the Pipes, Jer and his dad came by last night to snake the drain. They worked for quite a while, and found a lot of sludgy goodness, but no cohesive clog manifested itself.

We found out later that they did at least manage to make a difference, as now the other drain pipes in the house are backing up. So there could have been a clog that just got pushed farther down the line, past the point where other pipes intersect it. Or it possibly would have happened anyway. Or, alternatively, bits of food washing up your bathroom sink are actually a good thing.

At any rate, professional plumbers are (allegedly) on their way as I type this.

Bad Juxtaposition

I was just watching one of those survival shows on the Discovery Channel, and one of the characters announced that they were going to have to drink their urine for any hydration.

Cut to a commercial break. And the first commercial is for... Mountain Dew.

That Sinking Feeling

You know that scene in Finding Nemo in which *spoiler alert* Marlin and Dory get swallowed by the pelican, and Marlin digs in to keep from being swallowed all the way? The clog in our bathroom seems to be doing the same thing. Jer came over last night and we attempted to blast through the clog by jamming a hose down the sink. Now our bathroom looks like an ancient river deposited silt, and maybe dinosaur bones, all around the room (if dinosaur bones are made from hair and mystery gunk).

Next step: the snake

Things I Care about More than I Should

En dashes

The amount of peanut butter in my sandwich

Getting all the inner peel off when I peel an orange

Sink Me

A couple weeks ago we noticed that our bathroom sink was not draining well. And, as is the way with such things, it eventually progressed to the point where some sort of action was necessary. So, being the extremely manly man that I am, I decided to see if I could fix it myself.

I decided to start by looking under the sink. Check. My manly instinct as to where I might find the plumbing was dead on. Next comes... hmm. What is next? When gently tapping the pipes failed to immediately resolve the issue (note: fixing a plumbing problem is not like fixing a TV), I decided more drastic action was necessary.

"I guess I could try taking a look at that funny-looking pipe under there," I thought. This was the P-trap, a likely place for clogs to congregate, or so I thought. But as soon as I touched the thing, I discovered something startling. Something was wrong. I performed a quick Google search and discovered that pipes, in fact, are usually supposed to connect to each other. In this case, the two pipes were touching but not actually attached in any way. Writing down this new discovery for future reference ("Pipes should connect"), I decided to at least proceed with my plan to find the clog. In fact, since I now had to disconnect only one end of the pipe, my work had been cut in half.

Sadly, the search for the clog was fruitless. Not only that, but by moving the pipe I disrupted the delicate seal of greasy nastiness that was providing an ad hoc seal to keep water flowing without leaking out all over the bathroom.

Satisfied that by making things worse my job was done, I gave up and called Jer, who will come fix it for us soon.

Rule of Decline

I'm going to make up a new rule of business. Maybe someone has already thought of this, but as far as I know it's original. I call it the Rule of Decline. That means that as soon as you start a job, the benefits (and usually the atmosphere in general) are only ever going to decline. That is, the longer you stay at one job, the worse things generally get.

What do you think? Am I right?

Note: I'm not complaining about my job; I like it. It's just something I've been thinking about for a while.

Hair

Hair is a funny thing. We want it on top of our heads, but on other places it's really annoying. In our food, gross. In the drain, gross. On your back, gross. And it takes forever to break down, so those clogs in the plumbing require serious work.

On a more-or-less related note, hair is made of protein, right? Keratin is the main protein in human hair, which is made up of amino acids that the body could use, except that in hair form they are not digestible. I would like to see a commercial product that campers and hikers could carry with them to use in case they get lost to be able to break down their hair to make it digestible. It beats cutting off your arm and cooking it, right?

This post has taken a disturbing turn. I think I need to end it now.

Redhead

People always always ask us where Allison got her red hair. Here are some responses I'm considering:

"Her DNA, of course."

"The milkman."

"Huh, I never noticed the red hair."

"The box called it 'Autumn Sunset.'"

"She got switched at birth. We're just taking care of here while we look for our real baby."

"Babywigs.com"

What else could we say?

Hello New Day

Welcome to the new—and if not improved, then at least quality-consistent— blog. I hope this proves to be the same reliable source of entertainment that the previous blog was. And if not, the fault probably lies with you somehow.

The End

Well, my friends, it's time to close up shop. Our time together here at Blogger is drawing to a close.



...but that's only because I'm moving to a brand-new, shiny, full-fledged website! Sorry if you thought last week's post was referring to anything personal like having another baby or moving or something like that. Rumors of anything interesting happening to me are greatly exaggerated.

Anyway, the new site is joelhiller.net. Here's a direct link to the blog. Right now I've just got basic functionality going, but it has imported all my posts and your insightful comments (and the rest; let's face it, the insight filter is curiously lacking). I'll be adding a lot more content in the near future, particularly related to my professional experience. Let me know of anything that doesn't work. Right now it might be a pain to leave comments; I'll probably change that in the near future.

See you there (or else)!

Thirty Thoughts

1. Is that more hair in the shower drain every morning?

2. What's the big deal? It's just a number with a zero at the end. Why should we consider that significant?

3. Am I still allowed to wear shorts?

4. I need to buy a house within the next five years or we won't have it paid off by retirement age. Then again, my generation won't be able to retire until age 80, so I shouldn't worry.

5. I really should be eating more green, leafy vegetables. If I leave potatoes in the fridge long enough, will that count?

6. Going back to school is getting less and less likely. Then again, sending kids to school will be enough trauma.

7. At least I no longer look like I'm 12, which I did until I was about 23.

8. I will never wear my cell phone on my belt.

9. For some reason, there's a big difference between having a kid and having kids.

10. You kids get off the lawn!

11. I wonder when my memory will start to go.

12. Inside of me beats the heart of an 18-year-old. At least, the doctors claim he was 18 when he had the skateboarding accident...

13. As the years go on, should I feel increasingly ashamed for watching cartoons?

14. I don't feel the urge to buy a Mazda Miata.

15. Cold cereal is still awesome for any meal.

16. At least I can still fit into the suit I bought in high school.

17. It's hard staying up past 11.

18. This actually is pretty much how I pictured my life would be... except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

19. I'm becoming disturbingly comfortable in slacks and a button-up shirt, and wearing t-shirts less.

20. So far I have no intention of getting a minivan. Although they are an efficient way to get the kids around... No! I must resist!

21. I still put olives on my fingers.

22. Sadly, I have come to recognize the wisdom of my parents, and I even ask their advice on occasion.

23. Let's see, what historical events was I alive for? The fall of the Berlin Wall, September 11, and Al Gore being made first emperor of the moon.

24. Fauxhawks? Has it really come to this?

25. Back in my day, we didn't have fancy shoes with wheels that popped out of them.

26. Video games may be more complex now, but the NES ruled. Your girlfriend got kidnapped; what more storyline do you need? Go bust some heads!

27. Whatever happened to Square One? I loved that show.

28. I wonder when my memory will start to go.

29. What's this "information superhighway" I keep hearing about?

30. I'm still younger than most of the people who will read this.

Thirty Thoughts

1. Is that more hair in the shower drain every morning?

2. What's the big deal? It's just a number with a zero at the end. Why should we consider that significant?

3. Am I still allowed to wear shorts?

4. I need to buy a house within the next five years or we won't have it paid off by retirement age. Then again, my generation won't be able to retire until age 80, so I shouldn't worry.

5. I really should be eating more green, leafy vegetables. If I leave potatoes in the fridge long enough, will that count?

6. Going back to school is getting less and less likely. Then again, sending kids to school will be enough trauma.

7. At least I no longer look like I'm 12, which I did until I was about 23.

8. I will never wear my cell phone on my belt.

9. For some reason, there's a big difference between having a kid and having kids.

10. You kids get off the lawn!

11. I wonder when my memory will start to go.

12. Inside of me beats the heart of an 18-year-old. At least, the doctors claim he was 18 when he had the skateboarding accident...

13. As the years go on, should I feel increasingly ashamed for watching cartoons?

14. I don't feel the urge to buy a Mazda Miata.

15. Cold cereal is still awesome for any meal.

16. At least I can still fit into the suit I bought in high school.

17. It's hard staying up past 11.

18. This actually is pretty much how I pictured my life would be... except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

19. I'm becoming disturbingly comfortable in slacks and a button-up shirt, and wearing t-shirts less.

20. So far I have no intention of getting a minivan. Although they are an efficient way to get the kids around... No! I must resist!

21. I still put olives on my fingers.

22. Sadly, I have come to recognize the wisdom of my parents, and I even ask their advice on occasion.

23. Let's see, what historical events was I alive for? The fall of the Berlin Wall, September 11, and Al Gore being made first emperor of the moon.

24. Fauxhawks? Has it really come to this?

25. Back in my day, we didn't have fancy shoes with wheels that popped out of them.

26. Video games may be more complex now, but the NES ruled. Your girlfriend got kidnapped; what more storyline do you need? Go bust some heads!

27. Whatever happened to Square One? I loved that show.

28. I wonder when my memory will start to go.

29. What's this "information superhighway" I keep hearing about?

30. I'm still younger than most of the people who will read this.

Prevenge

I have already forgotten much of what Sam was like as a baby, but I really think Allison has a much louder digestive system. Seriously, I can hear when she does her thing several rooms away. It's actually rather impressive.

And if you're wondering about the title of the post, it's because I plan to show this to her friends and dates when she's a teenager.

Prevenge

I have already forgotten much of what Sam was like as a baby, but I really think Allison has a much louder digestive system. Seriously, I can hear when she does her thing several rooms away. It's actually rather impressive.

And if you're wondering about the title of the post, it's because I plan to show this to her friends and dates when she's a teenager.

Big Changes

Coming soon: Awesomely exciting happenings. Stay tuned.

Well, rather than sit staring at this page for days, I guess you could just check back periodically. Or get smart and subscribe to the feed. Whatever.

Big Changes

Coming soon: Awesomely exciting happenings. Stay tuned.

Well, rather than sit staring at this page for days, I guess you could just check back periodically. Or get smart and subscribe to the feed. Whatever.