Cerebrate Good Times

I just read that a joyriding truck driver crashed a gas tanker in the SF bay area. The burning gas caused a section of road to collapse, which is disrupting the traffic flow for the area. As amusing as that is, the funny part is that governor Ah-nold declared a state of emergency and applied for Federal Disaster Relief aid to fix a road . since when do all the taxpayers in the country need to foot the bill for some stupid California road? It's supposed to cost tens of millions of dollars. Am I to understand that the richest, most-populous state in the country can't fix a road? One more reason I wish Lex Luthor had succeeded with that whole earthquake thing.

So what's the deal with totalitarian governments trying to pass themselves off as peaceful and democratic? Every communist or pseudo-socialist government seems to have freedom-implying words in its title. Think about it: Union of Soviet Socialist Republic. People's Republic of China. Union of Myanmar (with its State Peace and Development Council which commits genocide). The Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Is anybody anywhere ever fooled by these names? They would probably be taken more seriously on the international stage if they had names like "Murderous Genocidal Xenophiobic Terrorist State of _____." I'd be more intimidated by a country employing those words than a so-called "democratic republic."

My most interesting thoughts seem to come to me in that couple of minutes between the time my alarm goes off and I get in the shower. The thoughts also seem to be more bizarre the more tired I am. This morning I was wondering what it would be like if there were a holy war between those with "innie" belly buttons vs. those with "outie" belly buttons. Those who don't really have either would try to be neutral but would be impressed into service as slaves for one side or the other. I predict it would lead to the end of humanity. I just looked it up, and apparently only 10% of people have outies. So maybe it wouln't be a fair war after all.

So I was thinking about the idea of "Choose the Right." In the song it even says "There's the right and the wrong to every question." There are, however, usually more than two possible courses of action. So there is usually more than one right and more than one wrong way to proceed. I could have worn a black or a grey tie today. Neither decision is likely to be incorrect (although in certain circumstances it is forseeable). On the other hand, I could dress up as a monkey or a dung beetle, and both decisions would be wrong. So the trick is to figure out which of the many alternatives is the best good. Fortunately, there is partial credit available.

I was thinking about the supposed principle that opposites attract, and I realized that the principle must have its limits. Otherwise we'd be seeing supermodels dating homeless men with dubious personal hygiene. Instead, it seems to me more like people date people with complementary personalities. In a successful relationship, for example, one person typically takes the dominant role. When you get two dominant people together you end up with daily fights. And two non-dominant people don't ever get together because nobody will take the initiative. You also tend to get a listener and a talker. If two talkers get together they can't communicate because the marriage proposal would never be heard over the recipient's own chatter. Two listeners might get together, but they would never really get to know each other and would eventually drift apart.

Obviously the two-party system has some serious problems. No wonder it's been boiling down to a "lesser of two evils" mentality when it comes time to vote. Political parties are just a convenient way of keeping ourselves from having to think or actually study the issues. So here's my idea of how the preidential campaign would be conducted. Anyone is allowed to run and is given a certain allotment of money with which to campaign. They must detail every penny of the money that they spend and will be subject to audits. If anyone is found guilty of misappropriation, they will be disqualified and subject to prosecution. Following preliminary campaigning for a set period of time, maybe 6 months or so, an independently-conducted poll (whose members must remain unknown to the candidates) will determine the top 5 candidates, who are then given an additional sum of money and subjected again to the same restrictions. Current technology is sufficient to allow electronic voting an...

Today, while putting gas in my car, I noticed that the fuel contains a "multi-functional additive." I'm guessing that the primary function is to save a little cash for the oil company by watering down the gas with it.