A Hiller Christmas

We were actually going to print and mail a Christmas letter this year, but laziness won out once again. So here it is for your enjoyment.




Season’s greetings to friends, family, and court-appointed investigators! To celebrate the holiday season, rather than as part of any rumored plea bargain, we decided it’s high time we inflict an annual Christmas letter on our loved ones. After all, we enjoy hearing from so many of you every year, and we rejoice in your not-at-all-suspicious good fortune, attractiveness, and ever-increasing accumulation of worldly wealth.

This year has been an eventful one for the Hillers. As the year opened, Joel decided it was time to move on to another job, to better support the family and keep the lawyer on retainer. So after some months of careful planning, a few rolls of duct tape, and some surprised bank employees, we have seen our efforts bear fruit. And through some off-the-record rental agreements, we’ve been able to remain in our lovely home this year with little trouble from the authorities.

Katie has been especially busy this year taking care of the home and preparing for a new arrival. Yes, our little family has expanded to four, following many prayers, a generous “donation,” and the very accommodating headmistress of a certain orphanage in Ireland. We are very pleased to have little Allison in our family, sharing her laughter, smiles, and helping us avoid any official attention from any law-enforcement officers or nosy neighbors who may be on the lookout for a family of three.

Sam is growing like a weed, and his dexterous little hands are becoming increasingly skilled at working with fuses, triggers, and complex wiring. He loves animals almost beyond description, which came in very handy in moving some valuable tarantulas from one country to another under his clothes without raising suspicions from any customs officers. He is also quite the performer, having perfected his “stick ‘em up and nobody gets hurt” glare.

And of course Allison is delightfully charming, holding the attention of everyone who meets her, including law enforcement officers, who never seem to remember why they wanted to talk to us in the first place. She loves playing with any paper she can find, from board books to large, unmarked, nonsequential bills. And she should be crawling any day, freeing up her parents’ hands for carrying “groceries.”

Yes, this last year has truly been a gift. We feel very blessed to have such wonderful, talented children and unimpeachable character witnesses as friends. This coming year is shaping up to be pretty busy as well, with Sam starting school, more travel, and various court dates. We wish you all a happy holiday season and a prosperous new year.

Love,
The Hillers

7 comments:

Ann said...

Laughing out loud :) Merry Christmas!

Jen said...

This is so weird. Merry Christmas!

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