Regrets

Not getting into running as a teenager.

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Guess What? I'm Terrible!

Have you ever noticed that certain negative things can be trendy? Not only is it popular to have a certain car or hairstyle, it’s also somehow laudable to have certain things wrong with you. One thing is being afraid of clowns. I’m not sure why this is such a popular fear, unless it has something to do with Seinfeld. I know several people who have mentioned this fear, and I can’t help but think that in some cases if may be an affectation. Another thing is having migraines. I’m not sure why this is so popular, especially since they are excruciating, but everybody seems to be having them. And the interesting thing is that people will say things like, “Sorry, I have a migraine.” The only time I had anything that might be termed a migraine, it was so painful that I couldn’t speak or stand. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying migraines don’t exist. I just wonder if they’re as common as people think. So am I totally making this up, or are there other negative things that people brag about...
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Pointless Game

Here’s a pointless game. I’ll use song lyrics to ask a question, and you try to find lyrics from a different song that fit as an answer to the question. Here’s an example to get the creative juices flowing. “If I was a dancer, where would I dance?” ( Psychosis , The Refreshments) “In a happy little foreign town, where the stars hung upside down…” ( We Danced Anyway , Deanna Carter) The first person to answer the question can then add a question of their own, to be answered by ensuing comments. Assuming anyone actually tries this, I’ll try to publish the comments immediately to make things less confusing. Okay, here’s the question. I’ll make it an easy one: “Who do you love?” ( Love, Come Lighten My Load , Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers) [answer:]"I'm in love with Stacy's Mom." [next question:] "Everybody loves a clown, so why don't you?" [answer:] "Send in the clowns." [next question:] "Why do birds suddenly appear, ever...
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Post of a Good Hell

For some reason, as I was falling asleep last night, I began to wonder what my own personal hell would be like. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far: It would be really windy, all the time, and super hot and humid. Everybody, including me, would be renamed Dakota (Sorry to anybody who likes that name, if any of those people can read, but it’s my hell, not yours). I would be forced to listen to muzak versions of really bad jazz while cashiering endlessly. I would have to wear a Hot Dog on a Stick uniform, and every customer would be buying really sharp objects like porcupines and bits of broken glass. There wouldn’t be a bar code on anything, and whenever the line got down to one person a hundred more people would come up at once and start yelling at me to speed up. What would your hell be like? [ Update : One more thing that would happen is everyone would copy me . Just kidding, Jer.]
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