Bastardosity

*Warning: This is a vituperative post intended for venting purposes only. On the other hand, the rage mixed with the sleep deprivation might be amusing, like mixing prescriptions.

Before the baby was born, I contacted the hospital to get Katie registered, because I didn't want to get blood on the stack of forms I would no doubt have to fill out before they would allow the baby to enter the world. ("Push her back in, he hasn't finished form 863-C yet!") They told us we could prepay for the delivery, which would give us a 25% discount. While that sounded suspiciously good, I said okay, so a few days later we got a bill. The bill assumed a two-day stay, free from complications. With the prepayment discount, it was only about $1,000. I knew we'd still get a bill from the doctor (probably $500 or so for what ended up being a whole 30 minutes of work), but I figured that would take care of most of it.

Today we got a couple bills in the mail, adjusting the actual amount due upward slightly. And by "slightly," I mean eight times the original amount. Among the interesting tidbits is the nursery charge for the baby: $1,452. Guess how long, over the course of two days, the baby was in the nursery. Ready? One hour, so Katie could take a shower. Again, $1452 for one hour. How do I earn $1452 for an hour of watching a baby sleep? That's over $3 million a year, multiplied by the number of babies in the nursery. For that kind of money, I'd even change their poopy diapers.

Now, the good news is that this is probably not the final bill. And if that's the case, I have an entirely different complaint. On the bill is this statement: "Your insurance if listed below has been billed." This doesn't tell me whether they have already paid for anything or not. And the statement, which is nowhere labeled "this is not your bill," conveniently includes an envelope in case I want to go ahead and cut them a check, which would save them the trouble of dealing with the insurance. And once you've paid an insurance company, good luck getting your money back in case the insurance pays out too. Is it any wonder people ignore medical bills when they get four different statements for one procedure?

1 comments:

Stephanie said...

That will be the most expensive shower Katie will ever take.