Hot (like the fires of Hell) Tamale

One of my coworkers brought a small vending machine to work, and uses the proceeds to fund continued purchases of candy. But shortly after I started working there, we discovered that the current stock of candy was more or less fossilized. So she replaced it, and we began to notice that different people were receiving different amounts of candy for their quarter.

Eventually we decided that the amount of candy you receive is proportional to your righteousness. So I thought I'd give it a go...

Well, I can't say I'm totally surprised.