You Will Become a Nonsensical Whiner

I’m a little confused by fortune cookies these days. It seems that just a few years ago, they were still “fortune” cookies with messages such as, “You will soon be visited by a potato from space.” In other words, they told you your fortune.

But sometime in the last 10 years or so, they started becoming more “advice” cookies (last week I got a fortune telling me to eat my vegetables) or, even worse, “general statement” cookies—“Today in Pittsburgh it is sunny and 63 degrees”.

I don’t need advice. I have plenty of people to offer me little pearls of wisdom. What I really need is a piece of paper in an individually wrapped cookie that gives me a glimpse into my alleged future. Is that so much to ask?


True...It is so hard to add "in bed" to general statements or advice.

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