Needlessly Complicated Ways to Kill Someone

• Buy someone a pet milk snake, then later secretly switch it out with a coral snake.
• Feed them ostensibly fat-free food over (that is actually full of fat) over the course of decades.
• Secure for them a high-paying job as an executive. Later, drive the company to financial ruin, then give them a tour of the roof.
• Periodically rub poison oak on their clothes. Over the course of multiple exposures, sensitivity increases. Eventually, they might become sensitive enough to die.
• Lace the edges of every book in their house with poison. Eventually they'll probably get a paper cut.


Anonymous said…
Definitely by paper cut. That is the best!
Jen said…
ha. yeah, the paper cut is my fave.
Joel said…
Not that I plan on using any of these...

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