Needlessly Complicated Ways to Kill Someone

• Buy someone a pet milk snake, then later secretly switch it out with a coral snake.
• Feed them ostensibly fat-free food over (that is actually full of fat) over the course of decades.
• Secure for them a high-paying job as an executive. Later, drive the company to financial ruin, then give them a tour of the roof.
• Periodically rub poison oak on their clothes. Over the course of multiple exposures, sensitivity increases. Eventually, they might become sensitive enough to die.
• Lace the edges of every book in their house with poison. Eventually they'll probably get a paper cut.

3 comments:

lizzyland said...

Definitely by paper cut. That is the best!

Jen said...

ha. yeah, the paper cut is my fave.

Joel said...

Not that I plan on using any of these...