People Who Need People...
For a long time now, I’ve felt that I prioritize my life differently than most people do. From the time that I was in high school, if not sooner, I realized that I was more interested in the connections between people than the events of life.
This perspective has led to good and bad consequences (as does everything else in life). I never put as much effort into school as I could have, for example. I could always get about a B+ average with relatively little effort. I simply didn’t view school as my focus in life. I never understood people who studied for 8 hours a day. I was far more interested in spending time with my friends and dating. Now that I have a family, I haven’t had to change my thinking to make sure I spend time with them. Rather, I have to spend time going to work, which is the departure from my default state, which is being with them. I’m sure that many people feel that work is their “life” and that their family is ancillary to that. My personal opinion is that in the long run, it’s the people who matter. It’s the people who will remember us.
This brings me to what I originally intended to discuss. We all have friends who, at the time, we were convinced would remain friends forever. But as the years pass, we slowly drift apart until all contact ceases. We tend to think of this as a tragic part of life, and there are times I am convinced that this is the case.
There are other times, however, when the reason we cease contact is that we are simply done with each other. Friendship is symbiotic; each party gains something. Our friends are determined in part by where we are in our lives. We help each other get through tough times, and then we may not need each other anymore. This is a natural part of life. Think about how hard it would be to keep in contact with every friend you’ve ever had. You wouldn’t have time for anything else. We need to focus our energies on the relationships that are important to us now.
(For my friends who are reading this, I’m not trying to cut off contact or anything. It’s just something I was thinking about. Go ahead and send me that email. Make that call. I still care!)