Christmas Me Monster

I put Christmas lights up on the outside of the house the day after Thanksgiving. I was pretty proud of myself for getting it done early.

Then, that weekend I noticed another house in the neighborhood. Somebody had put up a lot of lights all over the house, and about a million lighted lawn decorations. The lights are presumably plugged into one of those control boxes that lets you create patterns of blinking lights. Then, apparently still unsure they would attract enough attention, they set the controls to "induce epileptic seizure." It's unnervingly distracting to drive by and watch the bizarre pattern of lights blinking on and off.

Now, I usually drive with my iPod plugged into an FM transmitter that broadcasts on a frequency unused by local radio stations. It kept getting all fuzzy in this same neighborhood area. One day I just turned it off as I drove down this street, and I started hearing Christmas music on that same frequency. Then I finally noticed that these people had put up a banner in their front yard telling everyone to tune in to 107.1 FM (the same frequency I use for my iPod), and admonishing us to "Enjoy the show!"

I don't even know what to say about this. Christmas decoration are nice. They make me feel like I'm celebrating the season, and cheer up the dark winter nights. But it makes me a little sick when decorations scream, "Look at me! And listen to me! Next year we'll add a reindeer petting zoo!"

*Update: I drove the family by there the other night, and my wife quickly noticed that the lights were blinking in time to the music they had playing. So that solves one mystery of the frenetic pattern. They also had a prerecorded announcement play between songs stating that people could donate to a charity (I think it was for diabetes), so I suppose in the end these people get a pass.... Humbug.


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