When Life Hands You a Lemon, Write a Blog Post

This afternoon Nathan and I were revising the old "When life hands you lemons" axiom. Here are some of the highlights of our conversation:

If life handy you lemons, it hates you.


When life hands you lemons, it's to distract you from the speeding bus coming up behind you.

When life gives you lemons, sell them for money. And then go buy drugs.

When life hands you lemons, somebody else probably got lemonade.

When life hands you lemons, you'd better hope you're not allergic to citrus.

When life hands you a lemon, its probably because you're a bad person.

When life hands you lemons, they're probably poisoned or something.

When life gives you lemons, it means that it's time for you to go on a murderous rampage.

When life hands you lemons, sell them to people with scurvy

When life hands you lemons, throw them away and buy your own damn fruit.

Life is one big lemon. Deal with it.

If life gives you a lemon, eat it and remember that some kid somewhere has cancer.

If life hands you a lemon, it's probably actually a lemon-shaped rock.

If life gives you a lemon, its probably because you prayed for a meatloaf.

When life hands you a lemon, be grateful—because all that death gives you is a kick in the crotch.

 
When life hands you a lemon, buckle up, because more are probably coming in at high speed.

When life hands you a lemon, call me and we will go into business selling "When life gives you a lemon" T-Shirts.

When life hands you lemons, I laugh—because you look pretty dumb carrying lemons around.

When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade with your boss's head.


2 comments:

Jen said...

my top 3 favorites:

#3- the scurvy one, because I always appreciate a scurvy reference.

#2- the cancer one, because, so true.

#1- my #1 favorite is...

When life gives you lemons, sell them for money. And then go buy drugs.

good stuff. Why are lemons bad anyway? I love lemons. With a lemon in my hand, there are endless possibilities.

If i were to make a statement, it would probably be this, and it is kind of contrary to buy your own damn lemons:

If life hands you lemons, you are lucky. Free lemons!

I didn't say it was going to be a good statement.

the end. happy weekend.

A Bunch of Roaches said...

When life hands you lemons, you better make good friends with the auto mechanic...or just look for a new car.