Huked on Foniks Wurkt fur Me!

Do you remember those “Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” posters? Yes, yes, we all thought they were cute at the time. But the fact is, I probably learned far more useless facts in school than relevant information. For example, how to distinguish between Doric and Ionian Greek pillars has, strangely, never been a qualification for employment; and I rarely ever need to calculate the cosine of anything.

No, no, the useful skills and information I learned in school were often unintended side-effects of my education. I know how to recognize the moment a guy is about to punch me, and I know how to make a museum-quality sculpture from paper, tape, spit, and paper clips.

What lessons did you inadvertently learn in school?

2 comments:

Jar said...

I started to write a comment about the useless things I learned, and then realized I couldn't come up with anything that wasn't related to calculus. I've actually found use to most things I've learned.

I tried to Google for "Useless school subjects" and mostly got pages with comments like:
"man I dont even no why they make us take english classes i mean its so stupid we all speak english already i dont need to lern it in school."

Wow.

I did come up with some skills that I learned in school, but not from teachers:
- Shuffling a deck of cards
- Pickpocketing
- How to reprogram a Coke Machine
- How to flood a locker room

trb48 said...

That is funny, I was thinking about those posters today.

I learned to not cheat (at least, I should not be caught). I learned that in the USSR they could only vote for 1 person for president. I learned that in China instead of using a backhoe they give a million spoons to a million people (and they ask every to remove one scoop). I learned that I like to read (but not as homework).