Note to Self*

I have been thinking a lot lately about certain examples of popular media (okay, one in particular, but I’m not going to tell what it is, because many, many people out there are rabid avid fans of this particular “work” and I have no desire to be lynched), and I have come to a conclusion. Even if you present it in the most beautiful, mouth-watering way possible, with dainty vegetables on the side and a delicious-but-low-fat sauce, dog doo is still dog doo.

*Please note that this post is meant to help me feel better by venting, albeit in a cryptic way. So don’t worry that it makes little if any sense to anyone reading it—it was written solely for therapeutic purposes. This post has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

16 comments:

Jen said...

I want to know what you're talking about.

Joel said...

Anybody who is really dying to know can email me at jojohoser@gmail.com, provided you're willing to forswear violence against me should your opinion differ.

Jen said...

Joel, if you can't voice your opinion on your own blog, then it keeps you prisoner. is this the kind of relationship you want with your blog? no one will be offended. Tell us what you hate.

Nathan Mulford said...

Using your blog in such a way is like punching someone in the face and then saying "Hey man I'm just venting".
And then to add insult to the injury you say "If you really want to know why I punched you in the face just send me an email and I will tell you"

And if you want to continue with this behavior I will fully support you. Especially the punching, as long as its not me.

Joel said...

Gee whiz, who would have thought that I'd offend more people by striving to avoid offending people? Can't you see that I'm trying to protect you?

Fine. You asked for it. I hate the Twilight series. I find the idea of a girl falling in love with a vampire (who is, of course, a good vampire) the dumbest story idea I've ever heard. I don't care how much the "dark romance seeps into the soul," it's an idiotic idea. It may be written with Shakespearean skill, but that doesn't change the fact that it's just our society looking for the next Harry-Potter-style cliff to jump off of together (not to speak ill of the Harry Potter series, which I feel does have redeeming value).
Now when someone tars and feathers me, you can blame yourselves.

Jen said...

ha ha. There now, don't you feel better? Sorry in advance for the tar & feathering.

I have not read the series but I wonder what someone who has would say as a counter argument.

Perhaps you take a more practical view of things. I myself quite enjoy fantasy and fiction so basically any outlandish story can please & entertain me as long as it's told right/well.

Joel said...

No, I don't feel better. I feel like I'm about to be beat up by a vicious gang of women ranging in age from 11 to 74.
Then again, I'm probably over-estimating the readership of the blog, although that doesn't make me feel better either.

Turbo said...

I can't believe . . . actually, I don't care. I've heard women going ga-ga over the series and personally I've heard it all before. Anyone heard of the TV show Moonlight? How about Beauty and the Beast? Same premise. A woman falls in love with someone who society thinks she shouldn't. Then again, how about Snakes on a Plane? That's the best!

Heidi Bell said...

I knew that is what you were talking about. And I love Twilight...... but I agree it is dumb. I admit it. It is a guilty pleasure. Sure I should be reading the Classics, but this is just fun. Please don't compare the writing to Shakespeare, I don't think the writing is good. My other beef is that I am upset that girls as young as 8 want to read it. Oh well, at least they aren't reading "Goosebumps" by R.L. Stine right? But as a girl, you do fall for the character. I guess no matter how old I get, there is still a little Tween inside of me that swoons over Edward. I know I am hopeless.

Jer said...

Joel, you know I would NEVER forswear violence on you. Luckily, I agree on this one. I'll protect you from the drooling feminine masses. Violently, if I must.

Stephanie said...

Well, this is one female between the ages of 11 and 74 that agrees with you. I think I would just feel silly if I started reading them - whatever the reason for doing it was.

Joel said...

I think this post now holds the record for the most comments on my blog (even if several of the comments are mine). I guess controversy sells, even if it's imaginary.

Kevin Lloyd said...

Let me add my manifesto. As someone who has read the books, mostly out of curiosity, I must say, I really don't get it. They are poorly written, in dire need of editing (maybe you could help, Joel), too long, and to top it all off, they are mind-numbingly boring. I get that I am not the target audience, but I honestly throw-up a little every time they are referred to as "the next Harry Potter." I am convinced that you have to be a lovelorn teenage girl, or a depressed housewife to like those books (how's that for offending your readership?).

Lizzy said...

I am a Twilight fan. (Though I will not see the movie, I've seen the preview and it has to change things from the book and it's just not right!) But everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You want to rant, go ahead. It doesn't affect me. I mean my husband won't read it and I don't care. No matter how hard he tries I won't read his Terry Pratcher books. Even though he was right with Dick Francis, Isaac Asimov, and Terry Brooks. We all have our likes and dislikes.

Krista said...

I like the books. I guess I must be an unhappy housewife, since I'm not a teenager anymore. I stayed up way too late last night to finish the most recent one. My husband likes them too, but he's more housewife than me anyway.

Joel, you've always had a hard time with anything that's deemed popular by the masses. It seems to devalue it for you for some reason. I don't think they're the best or worst books written. I read all the time and these, like most other books I read, are a temporary escape into a fantasy world, nothing much more than that.

Wow, that was longer than I intended. Anyway, Happy Birthday, Joel.

Lizzy said...

okay Joel, want to see an anti-Twilight rant from a former twilight fan? See my blog http://lizzyland.livejournal.com/